Off Kilter

I woke up today in Columbus, OH. I've never been here before. I have a 32 hour layover. I chose to do this trip because of the layover and in hopes to finally meet my favorite digital artist, a lady who I admire so much for her passion and love and work. Genevieve and I have been friends for almost 3 years via phone, text, IM, Myspace, Facebook and most importantly through art. I have 4 pieces of her work. One that wasn't for sell but my Rick had called her and convinced to her to put this piece for sale in a size that was insane. It's a poster sized picture of a battle that Genevieve constantly battles... her lungs. To me the picture is something that says, "this is me. there is hope." That's why I fell in love with the piece. Genevieve and I became friends around the time I was going through my divorce. I used to go to work in the morning, get my coffee, sit down at my desk and sign into my Yahoo chat. Genevieve would sometimes still have not slept since the night before creating a new amazing piece to show me that morning. She would ask my opinion on it. Most of the time the piece was perfect. Sometimes the piece would scare the hell out of me and I would tell her and sometimes she changed it to make it more subtle. Then we would proceed to pick amazing names for the pieces. It was my favorite part of my day. It helped me take my mind off my own problems. Genevieve also took a picture that my friend Stephen Boatright had taken of me and together the three of us created my favorite piece of art. The cover of my book. The final touch to a chapter I never wish to revisit.


I think it's the ugly weather in Columbus today that has me sitting here in a lump-like state. I was going through my friends status updates on Facebook and saw that my friend Nathan Lee has his album coming out on May 15. I will tell you that I will be one of the first to buy it. His music has and has always had a major effect on me. It's so raw, so honest that it makes you want to leave everything and do what you love. It's so intense that it makes your heart want to jump out of your body and go on an adventure of it's own.

I feel so lost today. I doubt it's because I'm in a new city. I think it's because I have so much time on my hands. I just read this book called Eat, Pray, Love. There is a part in there about how Americans don't know what true happiness is sometimes because we have to be constantly entertained and we can't just be in silence with ourselves. Usually I do ok with this but it wasn't always this way... and today is like old times. I can't sleep. I have no desire to do my studies, to read, to do my yoga, listen to my podcasts, work on my clients pages or go to the gym. I just want to sit in my 18th floor room and over look the overcast day and listen to U2, The Walkmen, Ryan Adams and I think I'm so emotional today that if I even played another Nathan Lee song I might burst into tears. Gosh, I'm such a girl today. I hate that. I'm glad I have the day off... I'd be a mess flying.

I need to pull myself together today by 4pm my time because I have a conference call to a new company in San Antonio that I was just hired to help. It's actually really exciting. Rick found an ad on Craigslist for a Myspace, Facebook, Twitter Guru. Being that I am that person... Rick forwarded me the link and I sent them an e-mail. I'm sure lots of people think that they are Myspace, Facebook, Twitter Guru's because they are addicted to social networking... but I take all of that to a new level. I've been making money off social networking sites for almost 3 years. Starting when Kevin Max's myspace mysteriously disappeared one night and he needed a new one ASAP. Ever since then I have a small problem dreaming and thinking in html codes. I love it. I love designing pages. I love taking ugly pages and giving them makeovers. So I had a meeting with this poster of the ad in Craigslist and it went great. Next thing I know I have been hired to re-do the pages for a 4 chain restaurant/pub in San Antonio... and to be creating a campaign to promote Aretha Franklin when she graces San Antonio with her R-E-S-P-E-C-T... then apparently after that there are quite a few more big artists that I will be working with, such as Crosby, Stills and Nash. Not too shabby for a girl who makes money off Myspace. :)

I think maybe I need some breakfast and a good work out to get my blood pumping to shake whatever is haunting over me today. I need a mood boost. If only the sun would come out. I hate that my moods can depend on weather. I feel a little helpless. I'd really like to sit by the pool in the sun and take a nap... who wouldn't?!

Well... I'm off to change my mood today.
Things you should definitely think about...
1) Buying Nathan's CD on May 15 and supporting indie music at it's BEST.
2) Pick up a new book. It doesn't have to be mine, if that's what you were thinking. :) Anybook... something that makes your brain think, opens new doors and gives you passion.
3) Check out Genevieve's art. Support indie artists. It's as good as a book. It will make your brain think and open doors and perhaps give you a passion. :)

my life... is this for real?

My friend texted me today to tell me he felt like me when he was standing on a corner of a bus stop waiting for his ride that never came.

Bad luck?
Bad Kharma?
I dunno.

"everything is a test"
that's what we told ourselves every day in Delta training.

I'm almost one month into flying and I'm not sure how many more tests I can take.

Anything that could happen to you... well, it probably already happened to me... twice.

I'm wearing 2 different socks because I lost the other pairs of both socks along the way.

Hi. My name is Julie... and here is my violin.
Can I play it for you?


It's 2:30am at the Newark International Airport in New Jersey. This has been one of my new homes. I am learning all the secret corridors in these places. Again... here I am eating my overpriced ramen noodles for dinner and waiting for my 6am flight.
I get to go home tomorrow! I'm pretty excited. I think that most of my... let's call it a mini depression... is coming from being home sick... not having a steady schedule... being malnutritioned and dehydrated (that's all according to my wise friend as well).
The rest of my reason for my "depression" is money. It's the biggest portion.

Did you know flight attendants don't make any money?
Did you know that I qualify for FOOD STAMPS?!
Did you know that there are flight attendants who are already on these food stamps?
holy crap.

I get paid every two weeks... now granted my whole time in training we got paid minimum wage... that's $5.85 an hour I believe... so my last check was part training and part flying... I think... I hope that it never looks like that again... Let's just say... It didnt even cover my cell phone bill. So without getting technical on my money problems, let me tell you that the $300 check went towards transportation and food... for 2 weeks... cause its expensive in New York. So... who wants to pay my rent, cell phone, car, car insurance, water, cable, electric, and buy me new luggage? I'm pretty sure no one does... I don't even want to.

Now here's the irony... the part where the situation actually has my bad luck sealed in my name...
I have $15 in my account. You can't pull $15 out of an account unless you are at a bank. I have $5 in my pocket. Tomorrow I get into Nashville and to get from the airport to my house is a $15 cab ride. What the crap?! So I'm either hitchhiking or walking. It's probably only 15 miles away anyways... Then I know that there is a check in my mailbox waiting for me... everything is fine after that. But to get from point A to point C you need point B. My life always misses out on point B.

Another example of my irony.
I needed to get from the LaGuardia aiport to Jersey City, New Jersey at 1am. There are 3 trains involved. I actually had the money this time... so where is the irony in this point B? My wheel fell off of my suitcase. I had to catch the M60 bus to get to the N train to go to 34th street. Walk to 33rd street and catch the path train and walk about 6 blocks to my friends house dragging a suitcase minus a wheel that sounded like I was being followed by a freight train.

Do you think that this gets me down? Nope.
I'm laughing right now... on the inside of course because I have to be quiet cause everyone around me is sleeping...
but I laugh because I know it will all work out in some weird way that is my life...
I will somehow get a ride home tomorrow and have a crazy story to tell you... like how I hitchhiked on a motorcycle and towed my wheel-less luggage behind me... or how I just parachuted from the plane a few minutes early to land on my front porch... shoot. I dunno... but that's my life!

I tell all my friends... I cannot offer you much in life... but I can promise you this... if you hang with me... there will be adventure. I make that an oath... There will never be a dull day with me.
If you have ever driven in a car with me... or gone to the grocery store... or even parked my car with me... it won't be boring. Thats for sure!

One day I will write a book about all my missing Point B's... or all the adventures that you didnt expect to have with me... like the time I actually did hitchhike on a motorcycle with 2 other friends and 2 other motorcycles... or the day where I was supposed to drive Kevin Max to a show and I couldnt parallel park so we had to get out and trade seats so he could park my car at his own show in front of the line of fans waiting to get in... or the time when I slept at an airport but didnt really sleep... oh wait... that's right now.

Well... wish me luck on my travels home... and if my cell phone is shut off between now and who knows when... well... send me an e-mail. :)

xxoo
JulieKristine