Ike & Tina

Current mood: aggravated

It’s like Ike & Tina...
It’s a love/hate relationship with Nashville.
Please bare with my rant for a minute... I love watching live music but the scene is crazy.
Boys in their girl jeans or just looking like they crawled out of the seventies in their vintage... they want to be Jimmy Paige so badly that it hurts my teeth just looking at their greasy long matted hair.
My friend Wes Floyd is awesome. He leads the pack of DaisyCutters... They don't care about the scene. Usually in Nashville everyone is a musician so they don't barely clap at a show... they don't stand against a stage... They linger in corners judging the main act and would steal the opportunity to be in the main acts place if they could. Nashville has more talent in one speckle of the honky-tonk than the mainstream radio will play in the next 10 years... I've battled with how music works... it kills me how so many of these kids who are so talented will never make it because they don't know the right people, or they don't have enough money, or they don't play by the rules of the scene, or they just don't have the right look… or even because their lyrics are too deep for mainstream radio. What kills me about Nashville is that we all know each other from the millions of shows we go to... but the scenesters put on such a "I’m too cool for school" show that they won't even acknowledge that they know you sometimes... I've known some of these kids for 2 years and barely know a thing about them... they look like they just crawled outta bed snorted some heroine cause they are all so dang skinny too... Anyways... Wes Floyd is a pretty cool cat... he is nice to everyone and he doesn't play the Nashville game... people came out to see him and pushed against the stage and danced and jumped around... I've never seen any local act be able to do that besides Luna Halo... Maybe it was because they were dressed like cowboys and indians. :)

The other great thing about the Ville is that I have a slew of numbers I could call to go out with me... but no one to call when I needed a flat tire fixed... stinking boys and their art but no skills. :) Speaking of this flat tire... let's get back to my real story.
I had spent some time in San Antonio, got my hairs did by Stephanie and flew over to Atlanta and hopped in my car for the best road trip ever... just me and my itunes on the ibook... not the ipod cause that got lost somewhere between Atlanta and Panama City I think... :(
I made it into Nashville pretty late and was so happy to see my kitty and sleep in my own house and bed! The next day I planned to wake up early to go do a long overdue errand...
I've been living in Nashville for almost 2 years... and I still have a Texas drivers license with my old married last name and I was fat. I've been trying to get a new license for awhile and every time I go to the DMV in Nashville which happens to be in the ghetto then somehow I am missing some document and can't stay. UGH!
So I woke up kinda late but made it out the door and stopped in to visit my friend Rachel at work and surprise her. We talked forever and I sat in the office where I had been fired by the witch and I was soo glad to be out of there. I also learned that the witch had quit and got a new job and had recently been fired from that job... wow. what goes around comes around? hmm.. So I realize that on my way to the DMV I forgot my passport since I don't know where my birth certificate was... So I had to drive all the way back home again to get it. I noticed my tire was low and I made a mental note to fill it up as soon as I got out of the DMV. I'm driving along the back roads back to the DMV with all proper documentation and BOOM! POW! KABAM! My tire blows out... I'm in the middle of nowhere. I pull over. It's hot.

I had to call my good friend Reese in Mobile and my ex boyfriend Gabe cause they were the only ones I know that had any previous experience with cars... both said they would talk me through how to change the tire. Both asked me where my car manual was... which was NOT in the car of course... umm... yea... so I'm wearing 4 inch heals and capris and I'm dressed up cause I'm gonna take a AWESOME drivers license picture since I'm not that fat married girl anymore... I am NOT dressed to change a tire... especially for the first time... So I take a deep breath and start to unscrew the thingy to get the tire out and see if the jack is underneath... I hear some cars pull over... Thank the LORD I am a girl... and thank the LORD I was wearing heals. :) 2 guys in separate cars pull over... I am prepared just in case they are bad guys... I mean... I am a flight attendant... so anyways... the one guy was a car mechanic... a car mechanic wearing a hairnet... but good thing too because I have special tires on my car and there was no way I would have had the tools to change those... so the guy has it done in like 10 minutes. I was sooo grateful. He followed me to the gas station and put more air in my front tires for me... All I had was $11 so I gave it to him and thanked the man wearing the hairnet.

I attempted the DMV thing AGAIN... I get there and she tells me that my comcast bill was NOT good enough as proof of residence because I don't have the complete cable package because I don't have a home phone. I flipped out! I told her that I've been living in that city for 2 years and I don’t work there... and I am never ever there... she told me that I could go to the bank and get a statement printed and then stamped and then initialed... how does that prove where I live?! I dunno! So I did that... I was livid... I was sure that the next thing she would say was that I didn’t have enough money in my account to have a TN drivers license. haha
Anyways... I finally got back AGAIN and waiting and got my license... they hand it to me... it's the ugliest effing picture I’ve ever seen. I look like my chin was growing the biggest pimple ever because there is a red dot on there... and then I look and she messed up and put the wrong birthday on there! SCORE! New picture! So now there is a decent picture and I have the stupid license! It's about time. Next time I am going where all the illegals go and have it the same day... they don't require ANY documents. :)

So lets talk about that evening... sweet Jimmy Gnecco. Last year I waited for Jimmy Gnecco in the 18 degree weather outside for THREE hours in line... It was totally worth it... and I reject cold weather... I absolutely hate cold. This time we had bought pre-tickets and got inside and it was sweaty hot. Like bad. He just likes to make us suffer. My friend Breann, a fellow flight attendant joined me and Stephen Boatright and my favorite and only Belarusian, Lena... my partners in crime. :)
We listened to Jimmy enchant us with his amazing voice... Gosh. The next day we slept in.... packed up my apartment a little and I don't remember what else but we went to see Wes Floyd play... Which is where I started this little/long blog. :)

Skip ahead... It's Thursday and I don't know if I have to go back to work Friday night or Saturday because I am on call on Sat, Sun & Mon. If they give me a late sign in on Sat then I get to sleep in my bed one more night... if they don't give me anything then I have to be there by Friday midnight... which is the worst. So Friday around noon when I finally woke up... I checked my schedule and low and behold there was a rotation posted... 8am Saturday standby... that's as bad as it could get... which means I have to still leave Friday night... the only other option would be to take the first flight out in the morning and get there by 8:17 and be 17 minutes late... that is no good. So I hurried and got my laundry done, did the dishes, packed my suitcase, showered, went to the grocery, packed some more moving boxes and hopped in Lena's car with Breann to be dropped off at the airport. WHEW!

I promised Bri a good time at the Atlanta lounge... AKA my temporary home away from my "homes". So we ate Peanut Butter and Honey sandwiches and hot chocolate courtesy of my great boyfriend and we watched PS I love you on my MacBook... so far so good... except we go to sleep and the cleaning crew comes in and decides to make life miserable. They dragged the metal chairs across the floors and I know they were swinging them around... I know this because it sounded like the end of the world in percussion. I refused to open my eyes because I knew I would absolutely loose it on one of them... and they probably know how to fight better than me. There are about 5 flight attendants sleeping in there... I try and wait out the racket so I can get at least 2 hours of sleep before I have to get up and get dressed for standby... They start vacuuming around my head and bumping the couch on purpose with the vacuum. I started doing my yoga breathing to help me calm down... I kept my eyes shut tight to avoid hurting someone... They were in there forever and I barely got one hours worth of sleep. I was not a happy girl. I come down to the A lounge by 8am and I supposed to be on standby until noon... at 9am my friend Devin texts me and says he's in the airport so we go upstairs and visit him and his friend before they board to take off to Honduras.

Right as I am going downstairs back to the A dungeon I get a call from scheduling telling me that I have a flight. So I go downstairs to check the rotation and its a Salt Lake City turn... which just means I go to salt lake and back again and be back in ATL by 7:30pm... no biggie except I'm so tired that I am starting to feel ill to my stomach from exhaustion.
Our flight is delayed due to them upgrading the B757 to a B767 so that everyone could get on... The flight was going good until this wacko jacko wannabe in her 40's tells us that she lost her luggage on board and she needs to find it so she can run off the plane to catch her connection... we understand so a flight attendant proceeds to ask her questions so we can find her mystery luggage. FA= flight attendant & WJ= wacko jacko.

FA: "Where are you sitting?"
WJ: She looks at all her boarding cards... about 3 or 4 of them from previous flights and just baffled says "I dunno"
FA: "Ma'am... what seat did you just stand up from?"
WJ: "I cant remember"
*sigh*
FA: "What does your suitcase look like?"
WJ: "It's black with a polka dotted pink ribbon on it.
FA2: "No ma'am... that's MY suitcase."
WJ: "oh. Well I think my suitcase might be orange then."
FA: "Lets just go look for it."

They look forever and cant figure out where she put her suitcase... we make PA's asking passengers if they knew who this lady was or if they remembered seeing her with her luggage somewhere.
After the WJ looked in every overhead bin 3 times and looking at every tag on every bag over 3 times... and after concerned passengers ask us why this lady is flying alone... she finally finds her bag... guess what? It's over the seat she was sitting in... and guess what? It's blue.

I just don't have enough patience for that stuff.

We land... we board again to go back to ATL... everything is normal until they announce that the weather is bad in ATL and we don’t have enough fuel to keep circling the airport so we head to Nashville to refuel... only me... I swear.... only me would they linger my comfy bed in front of when I had one hour of sleep... I could SMELL my house I was so close. Some passengers just wanted to get off in Nashville because that was their final destination anyways... but we weren’t allowed because that would delay us even more... In Nashville my flight leader tells me that there is a passenger in 17A that only speaks Spanish and if I could go explain to him in Spanish what was going on... well he ended up being from Chile... Temuco to be exact... so it was like finding a long lost family member...even though we had never met before... we talked about all the good Chilean things. :)
Finally back in the air and we got to Atlanta at 10 something pm... more than 3 hours from the time when I was supposed to originally be in.

So I am tired... tomorrow I go to Guadalajara... which I’m not too excited about... but whatever... I am about to attempt sleeping at the A lounge tonight... I'm scared...
I will see you in the air.... peace out!

Guadalajara, the SA zoo, & San Juan

Monday, July 21, 2008

Current mood: rejuvenated

July 15- 19
I already blogged about Guadalajara... but I have one picture to share and add to the collection of hotel sunset views... my new favorite. :)

I got to San Antonio on the 17th after Guadalajara and went to the zoo with my boyfriend, Rick... the zoo is my happy place. I love the zoo! The San Antonio zoo is actually a pretty good one. There is a butterfly exhibit where you can walk in and they can land on you. I’ve only been to one other one and I believe it was in Costa Rica which definitely kicked SA's butt. It was a really, really hot day out but we had fun.

We saw some monkeys and I’m pretty sure that they were on something... the one kept licking the wall which reminded me of Super Troopers... "the snozzberries taste like snozzberries"
the other one was just staring at us with his teeth and hair and eyes all crazy-like...

Anyways... that was all about the zoo...
The next day I went to San Juan, PR. And we had a whole soccer team on board... it's only a 3 hour flight and they drank every drop of liquor we had on board throwing out hundreds and pulling out their credit cards... apparently they had left Puerto Rico as the biggest loosers of the league and they were gone for 18 days and came back number one! So they were celebrating and inviting us to these parties... half of them looked like David Beckham... when we landed they were all pretty intoxicated and everyone was waiting for them and they got a huge applause when they came out of the airport and there were cameras to interview them... they interviewed us since we were their flight attendants... we dodged all the questions from the boys about where we were staying and blew off the parties... they wouldn't remember us anyways. haha Anyways... they entertained our night.

I woke up and had such a nice view from my hotel.

Something was wrong with our plane so we were delayed about an hour and we weren’t sure if we were even going to go out. But we finally made it back to Atlanta then rushed to go to Richmond and then back again... then I rushed to get on my plane to come to San Antonio... So from 7:45 am until 10 pm I was in uniform. I was tired. but like my friend DJ says... no one ever wants to hear how tired you are. ;)
I’m just chillaxin today and hopefully I get to get my hair done tnight... then fly back to Atlanta to hop in my car and drive to Nashville the 4 hours... and I’m so excited to wear different clothes and shoes and sleep in my bed and start packing up my apartment. whew! That's about it for now.

Guadalajara, Mexic0

Current mood: thirsty

ATL/LAX/ GDL
So Guadalajara is a different breed of flights. I'm going to call it the West Palm Beach of the 3rd world countries. There were so many old souls on my flight. At this point I don't know what day it is without looking at my schedule. I don't know what time it is or what time zone I am on.

According to my rotation, we signed in for duty in Atlanta at 7:30pm and flew to Los Angeles at 8:30pm. 4 hours and 30 minute flight of people who are kind of crazy and we get to LA at 10 pm CA time. We get a 3 hour sit before having to take the next flight out to Guadalajara. I got in a little nap. As we walk upstairs to the gate we hear them making announcements for people who speak English over the age of 15 to volunteer to sit at the exit rows. This is a bad sign that they can't find 12 people who speak English.

I am the only Spanish speaker on the flight. As we board I look down the aisle to see people carrying their suitcases on their heads... Not just suitcases but boxes tied with strings, & trash bags full of clothes. I was halfway expecting to see chickens in cages on their heads. Some bags were too big and I told them I’d have to check them or put them in the closet if there wasn't enough space... They put it on their laps and asked to carry it like that... umm not gonna work. They put it on the floor and put their feet on it... again... not gonna work. I finally convinced them that I wouldn't loose their bag and found space for it in the closet.

Everyone was in the wrong chairs. I had to maneuver them all around which wasn't easy cause they don't move around very fast. I was tired before we ever left the ground. The rest of the flight was easy except for the part I dreaded which was passing out the immigration and customs forms. No one ever knows what nationality they are and a lot of them don't know how to read and write. I just cannot physically fill out all those forms for them all... So we managed the best way we could since I was the only Spanish speaker... We landed at 6:20 am. It's 7:20am Atlanta time, which means I worked for 12 hours. We finally got to the hotel and I started some good old 90210 re-runs... which makes me think of my friend Bri. Ha! I’m going to bed until 1pm and then head out for lunch and some shopping in Mexico! :) I'll be back in the US tomorrow.

I went to lunch with my crew and that's when I found out that Whitney Houston had been on our flight from Atlanta to LA. GOSH! I wish I woulda known that before. I used to love her. Well the girl has some pipes but she really has gone down hill just like Mariah. Two extremely talented people that just can't keep it together... Anyways... I did a little shopping... picked up a little something for the mister and went to the pool with one of my crew members that was Italian. We had the best talks and we swam on the roof top pool. I met a girl from Chile... which is rare cause I never find Chileans anywhere but Chile. :) She was really nice. I fell asleep by the pool cause the lounge chair outside was way more comfortable to that thing in my room that they are calling a bed.

I have a really hard time understanding why very expensive hotels don’t have complimentary wi-fi. Because I still manage myspaces it's mandatory I have wi-fi and in these fancy hotels it costs me $15-$17 for the day! Seriously?! Holiday Inn and Quality Inn down the street are offering it for free. I just don't get it. I’m just gonna have to put that expensive internet into my budget. Stupid.

On the flight back to LA the old people had multiplied and so did the number of people who couldn't read or write... or even know what nationality they were. I don't know if this was right but I just started asking them to what country they pay their taxes to... that seemed to help a little... One particularly baffling old man couldn't read or write... or he was just lazy because I asked him his address in California and he pulled out his CA drivers license... I was trying to hold in my emotions when I saw that... How the HECK did he get a license in Cali if he can't read or write? I hope he was just lazy or I'm completely baffled by our system in the United States.

We survived that flight with about 30-45 minutes rest before we got on the 767 heading to Atlanta. We were so tired. No one got good rest because of the beds and because of the kids that had ran up and down all the halls on every floor about midnight. This time on the LA-ATL flight I learned to ask in advance if there were any famous people in first class... my flight leader said there was and she whispered "Hal Holbrook"... who the heck is that?! I IMDBed him.. yes I just made that a verb... here is what I found... now he does look familiar: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001358/

Anyways... I was in the back galley and the cupboard door was open and I leaned to get something out of my bag and came up with such a force that when I hit the corner of the metal tipped cupboard I knocked myself backwards and almost passed out. I was almost in tears... I have a unicorn sized lump coming out the front of my forehead now ... thank the Lord for bangs! I worked for 12 hours with very little sleep or sit time... so my ankle is really screwed up. I'm glad for my break in the ville coming up so I can try and rest it by the pool in between packing. :)

I'm in San Antonio today but tomorrow I go to Puerto Rico. My little flight attendant video is doing pretty good on youtube... I have almost 300 plays... funny stuff! More adventures to come... :)